Write Like a Girl

WRITTEN BY SHELLEY SCARROW

‘They want you to be the girl in the room.’  There was a time, early in my screenwriting career, when those were probably my most hated words.  They meant that I was being considered for a job because people were recognizing the importance of having female voices in story rooms.  But it sucked too, because I went into these meetings or jobs feeling like I was there to be just ‘the voice of the ladies’ -- rather than a human being capable of expressing the full human experience, as seemed to somehow be assumed of male writers.  ‘What would a woman say here, Shelley…?’ 

Thankfully, this specific kind of hiring doesn’t happen as often.  (Though I do also want to acknowledge that my colleagues of colour and my queer colleagues are still battling this kind of tokenism.)  We’ve made incredible strides in creating, running, and writing for so many unforgettable television shows since the early 2000s (and thank Gaia for that,) that people now believe we can write more than just ‘the girlies’.  And we can write for shows that aren’t pigeon-holed as ‘women’s programs.’  We’ve proven time and time again that we can do so.

But sometimes I still get asked about how to make female characters who pop off the page.  Or how to make these creations sharper or realistic or more distinct.  I think this is less about having a specific female voice or point-of-view than it once was -- but is now more about a recognition that there are still places where screenwriters (of all genders) can fail their female characters specifically. 

Having spent a lot of time working in this space and thinking about this issue, I have a few tips I can offer.

1.  GENDER IS JUST SOCIAL CONVENTION – FORGET ABOUT IT!

Thinking of female characters as ‘different’ can set you off on the wrong foot.  Think first about what makes any character good or exciting or compelling.  And write that.   Assemble and discover the qualities that make the person you are creating unique -- without regard to whether those qualities are ‘guy things’ or ‘girl stuff’.

As a woman who tends to be introverted, I often see myself more in male characters – who are often permitted to be the ‘strong, silent type’, and who aren’t necessarily as socially- or relationally-motivated.  I’m far more a Luke Danes than I am a Lorelei Gilmore.  And as a person who is by no means Type A (like, honestly, I think I’m like Type X, that’s how far away I am from A,) I also feel that ‘control freak’ or ‘detail-oriented’ are over-represented amongst female characters, just as ‘chill’ or ‘rebellious’ are over-represented amongst male characters.  I think I lean more Mulder than Scully, if measured on the X-Files spectrum (that’s a thing, right?)  I’ve known plenty of Type A men, but I’m struggling right now to name many male characters with that trait.   (Frasier?  But he was so coded as ‘fussy’ and ‘annoying’ that this male outlier status was practically the whole point of him.)

These personality traits can shape us far more strongly than our physical bodies, though they are often just as in-born and aren’t strictly socially imbued.  When we start from the gender binary, we can become trapped in stereotypes.  As an exercise, try writing your character as the opposite sex.  What changes in their personality or actions if you flip their gender?  If the character changes a lot, you might want to look at some of the assumptions you are making about who they are due to their hormones alone. 

Or try writing your characters as non-binary -- and see what other edges of their personality you can find when you throw the whole guy-girl binary up in the air!

2.  BUT DON’T FORGET GENDER ALL THE WAY.  ‘CAUSE IT SEEMS NO ONE ELSE CAN.

It’s a simple fact that we live in a society which treats women differently than men in ways both big and small.  This is something we all recognize and do innately when we write historical characters.  If a woman proposes to a man in a Victorian drama, we all know she’s a maverick or an outlier (and a badass in her own way…)  If a contemporary female character desperately seeks marriage at 18, we know she’s a specific type of person.  But if we are writing a Jane Austen-era girl who isn’t obsessed with her marriageability at the same age, it tells us just as much about her.

If we as writers ignore the personal history which builds our character completely, the people we are making up won’t ring true either.  Remembering the society and upbringing that your character has received is essential for creating a well-rounded person.  And part of that environment is sexism in all its forms -- whether your character honours their upbringing or pushes against it.

Write a biography for your character, just as the best actors do.  Include your thoughts as to how your character’s understanding of their femininity developed them. Even if the events of this biography don’t appear in what you are writing, you should know how their upbringing shaped who they have become.  This includes sex-based bias.  Girls are most often socialized from birth to be ‘nice’, collaborative, to make themselves attractive.  How did your character experience these pressures?  If she did not, how did it feel when she did start to see them around her?

3.  SEXISM STILL EXISTS AND STILL SUCKS – SO BE PREPARED TO FIGHT

Some of the strongest notes I ever received from a network executive were from a man twenty-years my senior.  It was while writing a female character (and a comic character) who was my contemporary.  He objected to her laughing at an enemy’s misfortune (‘not nice’), hiring someone to baby-proof her home (‘naïve and lazy’), and referring to her baby as her ‘kid’ (‘very trashy’.)  It suddenly occurred to me that these were all notes that a disapproving father might give his daughter to correct her behaviour to a way he would approves of – and this is not a coincidence.   (For the record, I did not receive any similar notes on any male character.) Additionally, it made it really, really difficult to make this character funny, because it was like her judgemental dad was always in the room with her.

 This is the dreaded ‘likeability’ flag that you will doubtless receive on your female characters from those who read your script, even if they aren’t an executive with daddy issues.

 You may have heard of Main Character Syndrome, which refers to the film and television industry’s tendency to develop main characters that are ultimately kinda boring – which happens because networks or studios want the audience to root for them without hesitation or reservation.  This is why we often end up loving the sidekicks in properties so much.  Because they are allowed to be outrageous, to make that edgy joke, to have a wilder take.  

 In my experience as a writer and as a viewer, a female main character has it twice as hard.  Be prepared to let your character make mistakes, make jokes, have opinions rather than protecting them.  But remember that the best defence is a good offence.  You will be questioned when you let women swing for the fences in any way that’s interesting to watch.  Make sure you’ve thought about motivation for their less-than-ideal choices.  It won’t ever hurt your writing to understand the why so deeply that you could defend them in a court of law (or at least against a silly network note.)

4.  NEVER SET OUT TO WRITE A ‘STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER’

Sometimes I refer to this as ‘Clint Eastwood With Tits Syndrome’.  Fight anybody who tells you to write this way.  (Since this seems to be the second point I’m writing in a row that urges you to fight somebody, maybe I should be adding that I’m not condoning actual violence. Fight them with your keyboard.  Like, metaphorically. Like a strong female character would.)

People don’t ask for this quality specifically in male characters.  Yes, they might want to write a man who is especially heroic or stubborn or resilient or even muscular.  But ‘strong’ is such a dishwater adjective.  It also carries with it a pejorative, sexist assumption about all the other female characters in media and in your work.

I truly think that if you focus on this as your guiding light, you’ll end up creating someone who is incredibly unreal and won’t give the moments of vulnerability that make a character anything other than two dimensional (yes, even Dirty Harry had his vulnerable beats.)

 One of the best characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing was Wynonna Earp on the series of the same name.  Wynonna was a demon-killing badass who had to do horrible, difficult, physically demanding things in every episode.  She could be abrupt and angry and sometimes even cruel.  But she also cried on camera on a fairly regular basis -- and for my money, that was a big part of why the audience related to her. We didn’t worry about her being ‘strong’ in every single moment.  Sometimes we worried more about letting her break down so she could pull herself back together.  Presenting a contrast that was so vivid was more affecting than if she’d just radiated strength the whole way through.

5.  LISTEN TO WOMEN TALKING

This is my number one tip specifically for male screenwriters seeking to capture a female voice.  Listen to a conversation between two women at dinner or on the subway or in a store.  (Not in a creepy way, bro, back up.)  Then go home and try to replicate it on the page.

 Generally, I think this is an excellent way for beginning screenwriters to try and capture the rhythm of language and I would advise it as a regular exercise.  I use it regularly to try and capture teen voices more accurately. Because so much of what we do lives in only the spoken word, the patterns of speech are disproportionately important.

 These are generalizations, but I feel women tend to use more words and to prevaricate more.  So rather than having a female character say:  ‘True, that’s it.’, you might try having her say ‘That’s true. I think you’re right.’   (Of course, this is subject to all the other tips I’ve given before.  It is perhaps a stereotype, but if you listen, I’m betting you’ll find it rings true…)

Now go slam some dialogue!  Happy writing!